Nerdy Renegade News

Leave-Taking

2010-09-16T19:43:00.003-04:00

The winds of change are blowing blustery and fierce in my world.

Decisions are being crisply made.

Things that seem to make sense are being left behind.

Former identities (which served me well) are being shed.

Much that held my interest for months, even years,
no longer captures my attention or occupies my time.

There is a distinct pull toward a new horizon.

Daily Messages are confirming its beacon call.

And I respond to its magnetic tug as a powerfully healed and radiantly whole Being.

I am strong, confident, peaceful, and sure.

Areas that were once cloudy with confusion are now vibrant with clarity.

And while I am by no means done with my changes, something very interesting (and unexpected) has happened during this past month...

* * *

I have outgrown Nerdy Renegade.

* * *

What began in March 2007 will end here.

With post number 464.

* * *

This forum ~ and the richness that has come into my life through those who read it ~ have saved my life.

Honestly.

*Saved*my*life.*

It is impossible to express what it ~ and you ~ have meant to me since its inception.

And it is equally impossible to ignore the mystical gypsy that has been forged within me ~
in what I am only now coming to realize and live out as my re-connected Self.

* * *

Most assuredly, there are myriad details I could share. Yet I am not inclined to do so.

I made a promise many months ago to live without apology or explanation.

And this seems like a fitting time to hold my secret knowings close in my heart.

(Truthfully, these recent changes have come about so swiftly, that I have not had the ability to capture them and their profound meanings in any sort of cohesive way.)

I will not say good-bye...for we will surely see each other here and there across the waves.

Instead, I leave you with this question...

As Mary Oliver so boldly put it,

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Love is a Temple, Love the Higher Law

2010-09-05T08:43:00.001-04:00

ONE
by U2

Is it getting better?
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame
You say

One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it

Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's

Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One

Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus?
To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much?
More than a lot.
You gave me nothing,
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other

One

One

Friday Feature ~ Angels*

2010-09-03T20:17:00.008-04:00

Angels Unaware
by Michael W. Smith and Wayne Kirkpatrick

Maybe there’s a light in my soul
Maybe it flickers like a neon sign
outside an abandoned hotel

Maybe there are things you just can’t know
But can you say there are no mysteries
in the house you choose to dwell

Maybe we are entertaining angels unaware


Maybe there’s a place where we will fly
But some say God is dead like Nietzsche said
 and faith has made me a fool

But maybe there is more than meets the eye
Who’s that stranger there beside you?
 don’t be smug and don’t be cruel

Maybe we are entertaining angels unaware

Battles of the heart and of the mind
We stay caught in mental purgatory
 ’til our existence can be defined

Meanwhile on the shores of parallel
There may be a holy conference held somewhere
discussing all mankind

Maybe we are entertaining angels unaware
I say maybe we are entertaining angels unaware
Angels unaware...

* * *

*This post began shortly before a completely unexpected miracle showed up on my doorstep. Angels unaware indeed.
I started with just the photographs ~ and thoughts and musings about angels.
I finished with a radically different perspective ~ and chose this song to accompany my profound awe and gratitude.

It's Never Too Late

2010-09-02T09:23:00.002-04:00

Today's post goes out to the *amazing* Lori-Lyn.

Her post from yesterday is a much needed clarion call to my soul.

Are You Ready to Do What You Came Here to Do?

Thank you, dear fellow traveler, for writing the words
that my spirit needed to read this morning!

It's Time to...

2010-08-29T09:43:00.002-04:00

Meet my new mug :-)

Friday Feature ~ Flowers

2010-08-27T09:43:00.001-04:00

Some recent shots taken in the various neighborhoods
I've been traveling this summer.

It has been a great year for incredible beauty in Nature!

I hope you discover great beauty this weekend :-)

Defining Days

2010-08-26T09:43:00.003-04:00

Rubicon:

n. A limit that when passed or exceeded
permits of no return
and typically results
in irrevocable commitment.

* * * * * * * * *

Have you ever had one of those days
~ or perhaps even moments ~
when you knew,
with every fiber of your Being,
that you could not go back?
When the radical, unexplainable
grasping of Truth
became so apparent
and infused within you
that it was impossible
to dismiss?

And the signs from the Universe
were so incredibly clear
that it was all at once magnificently profound
and cosmically laughable?

Well, yesterday was one of those days for me.

And today I am leaping into the Light.

*

Art and Words By Jane Evershed

The Great Leap of Faith

"It's yours, take it,
Leap like a lunatic
Over the chasm below
Erupting as you go
Your true self awaits you
NOW you will know"

Finding Myself ~ All My Days

2010-08-25T08:33:00.004-04:00

Friday Feature ~ Wings

2010-08-20T07:43:00.005-04:00

Just a few of the fellow Earthlings
I've had the pleasure of meeting recently :-)

Tough Truths ~ Common Ground

2010-08-19T09:43:00.003-04:00

Over the course of the days I spent staying with my mom recently, some tension simmered and eventually boiled over, demanding we come together and clean up the mess.

In the midst of our crying and talking, we both admitted to feeling "not good enough". Imagine that! We are fellow tribe members in that all-too-familiar club that claims so many of us in its number.

Although we unwittingly joined that club for very different reasons over the years, there is no denying that we're both coming into our relationship with each other from our own wounded and confused places.

When she looks at me, regardless of all of my wonderful qualities and accomplishments, she sees me as a product of her failed attempt at motherhood. Despite all my growth and change, she admits to never being able to accept the choice I've made to leave her religion. Everything I do or don't do is weighed against this. It is a measure of judgment I will never be able to overcome.

And when I look at her, I grieve the fact that my mother is 81 and in the final stages of her life on Earth, with all its complications and limitations. Now that I am coming into my own womanhood, I long for a mother (perhaps in her mid-to-late 60's) with whom I can share the new power, purpose, and freedom I am finding.

Nope. Just like having a child, that version reality is being denied to me.

So, there we are. Each wishing the other were something/someone else. Not totally, of course ~ because on many levels we are grateful for what we have in each other.

But ultimately, those are the tough truths we have spoken.

Common ground.

Requiring new eyes,

surrender,

compassion,

acceptance,

and perhaps even a new set of emotional boundaries.

All of this is being continually thrown
into the fire of purification and transformation.

OM SWAHA

Seeking Clarity*

2010-08-17T09:03:00.002-04:00

*I apologize for the lack of more thoroughly written and self-disclosing posts lately. There's a boat-load of stuff (read: changes) going on chez Nerdy Renegade and I'm doing my best to navigate them successfully and still keep my health and relationships in good order.

Today, these lyrics seem most fitting.

* * * * * * * *

Closer to Fine
by the Indigo Girls

I'm trying to tell you something about my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
The best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously, it's only life after all
Well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I'm crawling on your shore.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.

I went to see the doctor of philosophy
With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry or see a B-grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind, got my paper
And I was free.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.

I stopped by the bar at 3 a.m.
To seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend
I woke up with a headache like my head against a board
Twice as cloudy as I'd been the night before
I went in seeking clarity.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.

We go to the bible, we go through the workout
We read up on revival and we stand up for the lookout
There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine

* * * * * * * * *

What lyrics are an appropriate soundtrack to your life today?

Life's Sweet Secret

2010-08-16T08:43:00.001-04:00

You see, I want a lot
Perhaps I want everything
The darkness that comes
with every infinite fall
and the shivering blaze of every step up.

So many live on and want nothing
and are raised to the rank of prince
by the slippery ease of their light judgments.

But what you love to see
are faces that do work and feel thirst.
You love most of all those who need you
as they need a crowbar or a hoe.

You have not grown old,
and it is not too late
to dive into your increasing depths
where life calmly gives out
its own sweet secret.

~Rainer Maria Rilke

Friday Feature ~ Squirrels

2010-08-13T18:43:00.003-04:00

In the 10 years we've lived in our house, we've established quite fondness and friendliness with our local squirrels. They are a delight ~ and usually very entertaining!

This one we called "two-tone" because of his tan tail :)

We have started calling our house the "Nut Haus", as we regularly toss nuts out the front porch windows. The squirrels will come very close to get their treats!

And this one eats like she is drinking from a bottle!
Sometimes she leans so far backwards she almost falls over!

For more information on squirrel energy, check out this site.

Friday Feature ~ Painted Rocks

2010-08-06T12:43:00.002-04:00

I am here again ~ Lakeside on Lake Erie.
Painting rocks is a favorite childhood memory of mine
from the many summers I've spent here.

(Mom even has a few small ones as magnets on her refrigerator...
a sailboat, a caterpillar...)

Mine were not nearly as fancy as these, which we spotted
down the street from our cottage.
Aren't they fun?

These two rocks make me happy!!!

* * *

Do you have any rock painting stories/memories?

To Thelma, From Louise

2010-08-02T08:43:00.002-04:00

The sweetest gift, the only gift, we can give ourselves, our communities, the earth ~ is our fullest, truest presence. Simply put, our presence is who we are, or would be, if we weren't always trying to be someone else.

The process IS the goal. If we do what we do because it is politically correct or nice or will someday make us happy, someday will never come, an we will have wasted our lives waiting.

Longing is the soul's way of saying, "I know you thought this was it, but it's not. Don't stop here." Longing is the voice of the universe...desiring to manifest its fullness through us; it is not an expression of the wanting mind gone wild.

We do not have to give up thinness or success or love when we admit these things don't do what we thought they would. Telling the truth makes it possible to fully (and for the first time) enjoy those things because we begin to understand that our lives do not depend on them, which makes us less frightened of losing them.

When I am not hanging on to love or success, I actually have moments of being deliriously happy. So will you.

We can't understand or move through what we refuse to examine. It's not until we admit we are lost that there is even a possibility of discovering a new way.

We already have true nourishment; WE are the nourishment we have been searching for.

We think we know what will make us happy, but we are usually wrong. We think joy comes by acquiring things or relationships or love, but it doesn't. (If it did, we would already be happy.) Joy comes when we remember the qualities from which we cut ourselves off long ago. Value, strength, will, compassion, love. Socrates called them the eternal verities; he said you cannot teach people to have courage or love or strength, but that we know these things by remembering them...

Finally, we are not helping anyone when we pretend to feel less, have less, or be less than we are.

The world will not fall apart
if we let ourselves
express our vastness.
It is more likely the world
will stop falling apart
when we do.

~Geneen Roth
in Appetites: On the Search for True Nourishment

Funny Sign Friday*

2010-07-30T07:43:00.000-04:00

*Next week I'll be starting a new weekly adventure ~ Friday Features.
Each one will have a series of photos along the same theme.
Stay tuned!

Local Exploring ~ A Lonely Fireplace

2010-07-29T09:43:00.002-04:00

"The Old Barn Club stood at the intersection of Patterson Boulevard and Oak Knoll. It was a manifestation of John H. Patterson's philosophy of making the privileges of belonging to a club with many amenities available to the working people of his factory and the community. He had it built in 1907 on 16 acres he leased to the company for the purpose of an officers' club and agents' school. He recently had bought the Coleman an O'Neil farms in the Dorothy Lane area. It was designed by his favorite architect, Louis Lott, in the Swiss chalet style of his home, The Far Hills, with brown stained clapboard siding, wide eaves and porches on several sides.

Local retired accountant and former teacher at Oakwood High School, Bob Pool, has reason to remember it because his grandmother was manager and cook. He recalls that it was entered by a series of steps to a large sitting room two stories high, around which ran a balcony serving several bedrooms. The sitting room was lit by skylights, and furnished with wicker rockers and high back chairs. There was an alcove with a large fireplace and a player piano. After about five years, membership was opened to the public and a nominal fee for club membership entitled one to golf, tennis, club dances, or overnight lodging.

The public was invited to use the reading room, playground, wading pool, sandbox, nursery, volleyball and open fireplaces. There was a natural amphitheater for Sunday afternoon concerts by local artists and wooden dance pavilion with lights. Sunday meals were open to all and were quite popular. They were cooked by Mrs. Pool usin g a Model T Huckster Wagon to shop at the downtown street market. Naturally, John H. provided a stable with a water trough for horsemen of the area. The club was open from May to October and was truly a wonderful place to relax.

It became part of the overall scheme for Hills & Dales Park which Patterson gave to the City of Dayton in 1919 and was referred to in sales brochures for early Oakwood developments as another reason to move to Oakwood. Patterson left it in trust in his Will to his son and daughter "to be used for the sole use and benefit of the Hills & Dales Club or a club with similar objectives". When it no longer served its purpose they could sell it. It burned down in the 20's. A lonely fireplace can still be seen if you look to the south of the entrance road from Oak Knoll..."

~From Centennial Reflections
Essays from the Oakwood Historical Society
by Harry G. Ebeling

Be Where You Are

2010-07-28T08:43:00.002-04:00

I was raised in a "count your blessings", "suck it up", "look on the bright side" kind of family. Needless to say, there was not much room for the 'ugly' emotions or shadow side of being. Keeping up appearances and pretending things were fine was highly praised (and still is to this day).

I've now come to realize that this long-standing pattern (with all its covert and mixed messages) is what contributes to my lack of self-trust when it comes to my feelings. I've spent many, many years repressing, suppressing, discounting, and glossing over what I really feel. There's an innate tendency to put a positive spin on, well, just about every damn thing.

Now, that doesn't mean I regret my natural inclination to be an optimistic person. No way. I choose hope over despair every chance I get. That's part of shining my true inner light in the world. Honestly.

It's just that I am having to learn (*really learn*) what it means like to sit with unpleasant feelings. And resist the urge to placate them away.

And the cool thing is, by practicing this, I am learning to honor what I feel, spend some time with whatever comes up, and watch as it gradually moves on its way. Pretty cool stuff.

So, when my mom called on Monday to say that her husband had a stroke, I immediately felt the energy drain that goes along with such news. Sadness. Shock. Dismay. Grief. Heartache. Tears. Sorrow. Sympathy. Regret. Fear. Anger.

All coming up for their time in the light.

And I let them.

I was sad. And heavyhearted.

It stayed with me for about 24 hours. During which time I still kept up with my work and home duties, while a part of me maintained the witness state on behalf of processing my emotions and allowing them to fluctuate as necessary.

When I ran into the much-needed presence of a dear, angelic friend at the grocery on my way home from work, she asked how I was doing. When I told her, "I'm just sad". She miraculously replied, "Well, then that's where you need to be."

I was astonished to hear such truth!
Someone giving me permission to be sad.
Not trying to make me feel better or look on the bright side.

"Spend some time there. Call on the Dark Mother.", she encouraged.

Her words were music to my ears ~ and a balm for my wounded soul.

I walked out of there with a new level of peace. The kind of peace that comes from knowing all is well, even in the sad places. In spite of the heaviness and grief I am feeling, I can trust the forces that be to work things out, all the while allowing and honoring my darkness to have its say.

Upon arriving home,
I listened to my body asking for what it needed.
Rest.

I took a nap, surrendering to the weight of the day.

And when I woke up, a new-found energy and lightheartedness were with me. I had a jolt of productivity. I updated web sites. I chatted with a friend over the phone. I laughed at her hilarious new blog. I spoke my truth and named my grief. I stayed present in the moment. I allowed the feelings to come and go, trusting that I could handle it and surrender to the refiner's fire of the change that comes with aging and illness, love and loss; accepting it all as a worthy part of this human condition.

* * *

Where do you need to BE today?

Can you allow yourself to dwell therein?

Go ahead. Permission granted.

Be where you are.

Funny Sign Friday

2010-07-23T07:43:00.000-04:00

On the Road Again

2010-07-22T06:43:00.003-04:00

We're headed back to Chicago...

(to see Natalie Merchant in concert at the historic Chicago theatre!)

and then on to Lakeside, Ohio for a family reunion weekend :-)

I hope your weekend is full of fun, adventure, happiness, peace, and rest.

Today's Discovery

2010-07-17T17:17:00.003-04:00

The Conscious Convergence mission
is to bring people together
with the shared intention of cultivating
a critical mass of harmonious energy
that supports inner and outer reconciliation.
We come together in the spirit of unity
to heal wounds that separate us,
to reconcile conflicts that divide us,
to inspire ideas and actions that express our oneness,
and to join together in heart and mind
to welcome the birth of our new world.

* * * * * * * * *

I, as a sovereign being, join together with All That Is
to call forth the presence of balance and unity
within me and in our world.
I am the conscious presence of harmony and reconciliation
and I am grateful for the wholeness I bring forth
in this and every moment.
And so it is.

* * * * * * * * *

Funny Sign Friday

2010-07-16T08:43:00.001-04:00

As seen in a local, public restroom.

Reunited

2010-07-13T19:43:00.003-04:00

Veronica ~ she is one cool hippie chick :-)

My afternoon rendezvous yesterday with this amazing woman was such a joy!

We were together for over two hours ~ each taking turns asking questions, listening, and sharing our stories.

We reminisced about 'the good ole' days' and planned to recapture some of those events soon (pizza, Adventure Golf, veggie dinners, board games).

Interestingly enough, towards the end of our time together, we both admitted to being a bit uncertain of what meeting again after all this time would feel like. I'm SO glad we overcame our fears and decided to get together (on what I came to learn was their 3rd wedding anniversary!).

Photos of our meet up have been printed and will be sent to her husband/my friend in the mail tomorrow.

Our next date? Friday night....salad dinner and Earthopoly.

This is powerful, healing balm for deep, confusing wounds.

* * *

"The real work of this life is not
what we do every day from nine to five.
The real work is to disidentify from self-images that were formed
a lifetime ago,
and from which we still construct our daily lives.
The real work is to allow ourselves to be who we already are,
and to have what we already have.
The real work is to be passionate, be holy, be wild, be irreverent,
to laugh and cry until you awaken the sleeping spirits,
until the ground of your being cleaves
and the universe comes flooding in."

~Geneen Roth
in Appetites: On the Search for True Nourishment

Another Round

2010-07-12T13:04:00.003-04:00

In less than an hour, I will meet with the wife of my friend who is in prison. We have not seen each other in about four years. And, my oh my, what changes have happened since our last time together!

She has moved back here from Arizona in search of her own healing and recuperation.

I continue to be open to the need for the same in my life.

There will be hugs, tears, sharing, listening.

I am ready.

Indeed, another round of healing has begun.

Time for a Nap

2010-07-06T07:43:00.000-04:00

Nerdy Renegade will be taking a short break as I chronicle my Green Smoothie Adventure over here.

Hope to see you there!

:-)

Scenes from Last Saturday

2010-07-03T18:43:00.002-04:00

Eric Clapton Crossroads Guitar Festival 2010

Toyota Park

Chicago

It was an amazing day of cohesive talent as guests appeared first by themselves and were then joined by others. What a blast!

Here's how the day (noon to 11pm) went...

Sonny Landreth
with Eric Clapton

Robert Randolph
with Joe Bonamassa

Robert Cray
with Jimmie Vaughn
joined by Hubert Sumlin

ZZ Top

Doyle Bramhall
with Gary Clark, Jr.

Sheryl Crow
joined by Susan Tedeschi, Derek Trucks & band
joined by Eric Clapton

Vince Gill
with Albert Lee, James Burton, Keb Mo
joined by Alex Lee
joined by Earl Klugh and Sheryl Crow

Citizen Cope

Earl Klugh

John Mayer

Surprise Guest:
Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones!!!
with Johnny Lang and Buddy Guy

Susan Tedeschi, Derek Trucks and Band
with Warren Haynes

joined by David Hidalgo and Cesar Rosas (of Los Lobos)
joined by Johnny Winter

Bill Murray was the emcee and had several costume changes :-)
Jeff Beck

Eric Clapton

with Steve Winwood

with Jeff Beck

BB King

joined by everyone!

Ticket price for all that magic???

$100

Rock on.

Freedom Friday

2010-07-02T10:43:00.005-04:00

Out of Our Heads
by Sheryl Crow

If you feel you wanna fight me
There's a chain around your mind
When something is holding you tightly
What is real is so hard to find

Losing babies to genocide
Oh where's the meaning in that plight
Can't you see that we've really bought into
Every word they proclaimed and every lie, oh

If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads
And into our hearts
If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads
And into our hearts

Someone's feeding on your anger
Someone's been whispering in your ear
You've seen his face before
You've been played before
These aren't the words you need to hear

Through the dawn of darkness blindly
You have blood upon your hands
All the world will treat you kindly
But only the heart can understand, oh understand

If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads
And into our hearts
Children of Abraham lay down your fears, swallow your
Tears and look to your heart

If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads
And into our hearts
Children of Abraham lay down your fears, swallow your
Tears and look to your heart

Every man is his own prophet
Oh every prophet just a man
I say all the women stand up, say yes to themselves
Teach your children best you can

Let every man bow to the best in himself
We're not killing any more
We're the wisest ones, everybody listen
'Cause you can't fight this feeling any more, oh anymore

If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads
And into our hearts
Children of Abraham lay down your fears, swallow your
Tears and look to your heart

If we could only get out of our heads, out of our heads
And into our hearts
Children of Abraham lay down your fears, swallow your
Tears and look to your heart

"Not Long from Now, In a Galaxy Not So Far Away,
All Creatures Assemble in Peace"

~made by the students of the Asian Arts Center
for the Global Art Project for Peace

Thankful Thursday

2010-07-01T08:43:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was a busy, somewhat overwhelming day. By the end of it I found myself a bit grumpy, out of sorts, and engaged in a heated discussion with a friend on FB. Thankfully, I embraced the need to apologize and all is well.

It's in such moments when I'm feeling contracted that I most need to sink into a state of gratitude. So, upon waking today, and after reading some of Marshall Rosenberg's "Speaking Peace in an Age of Conflict", I paused to reflect on the following:

1. Beautiful summer weather
2. Magnificent sunrises and sunsets
3. A newly repaired car (16+ years old with 180,000 miles) that runs smoothly
4. Liberation
5. Air Conditioning
6. Cool evenings to sleep with the windows open and listen to the sounds of summer nights
7. Fruits and vegetables
8. A gift card arriving in the mail from my sister (to one of my fav restaurants) and subsequent spontaneous lunch visit with a friend (paid for with that gift card!)
9. Friends who speak truth I need to hear
10. The patience, presence of mind, and grace to receive said truths
11. Forgiveness
12. Tanner
13. My first cup of hot, strong, dark morning coffee
14. Chicago
15. The Eiteljorg Museum in Indianapolis (and their annual Indian Market)
16. A generous and loving husband
17. My mom
18. Connecting with childhood friends on FB
19. The wisdom to know when to let go
20. Beautiful new babies and their blogging mommas
21. Yoga
22. A new issue of Yoga Journal magazine
23. The World Peace Yoga studio and staff in Cincinnati
24. Embracing joy
25. Laughter
26. Good health
27. Watching chipmunks chase each other through my yard
28. My yoga teacher and upcoming kirtan this weekend
29. Learning lessons (and 'getting' them more quickly than I used to!)
30. Wonderful, caring neighbors
31. Books
32. Pencils, pens, markers, colored pencils, journals,...
33. Libraries!!!
34. 2nd chances
35. The ability to travel
36. The freedom to choose (and wisdom to make healthy choices)
37. Goddess consciousness
38. My orthodontist
39. The gift of perspective
40. Humility
41. Wisdom teachers
42. Music
43. Body adornments in the form of jewelry

I'll stop there ~ since 43's my new age :-)

Now it's your turn...

Please take a moment to click on that comment button and share some gratitude.

Namaste'

I Have 43 Years*

2010-06-28T21:43:00.001-04:00

Baby Lisa with Mom, brother, and sister

And with my maternal grandparents
(this grandpa died when I was 3 months old)

And me, a bit older.

At 4:17pm today, I marked the annual passage of my entrance into the world. Born by C-section in a Cincinnati hospital ~ the third (and only biological) child of my parents, my birth was cause for celebration. This entire long weekend has been one of joy and happiness. I have felt so special and loved, just like the emotions that must have surrounded me on that June day many years ago.

And this birthday, especially, is truly blissful for me because I finally feel like I am celebrating my True Self. All the inner work I've done over the past few years has come to fruition ~ and my authentic self has been birthed into this world. I have shed so many layers of junk and worked arduously through so much that needed healing. And here I am ~ almost giddy with the inner knowing ~ that I've turned a major corner ~ and am leaving behind a lifetime of baggage that no longer serves me. This particular (and very auspicious) birthday is cause for much rejoicing :)

Much, much gratitude to all of you who shared in my celebration with your loving, supportive comments today! You are each a part of the fabric that makes up the tapestry of my life ~ and I find great peace, comfort, and contentment covering my new, true self with your beautiful blanket.

*I chose the title "I Have 43 Years" because that's how it reads in French. I've always liked their use of wording in that way (I have hunger vs. I am hungry....I have fatigue vs. I am fatigued.)

A book I'm reading now warns, "Be careful what you so " I am...." to, because it has a way of claiming you."
I like that idea.

Up, Up, and Away

2010-06-24T07:43:00.001-04:00

Today, this boy (my step-grandson) turns 4!

And we're off on another adventure to this really cool city.

See you on the other side...

Time Waits for No One

2010-06-23T07:43:00.000-04:00

Linzie Hunter

Today I want you to go and do at least one thing that will bring you happiness.

Perhaps it's something you've been putting off "until the time is right" or "the kids are grown" or "the bank account is plump enough" or...Perhaps it's some entirely new inspiration that has blown into your life this week.

Whatever it is, just go do it.

And then come back here and report in the comments what you find on the other side.
(You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine!)

Go!

No Longer Afraid

2010-06-21T20:43:00.001-04:00

I am embracing the fullness and power of the Summer Solstice as I share with you a most recent realization; a perfect example of finding Meaning in the Mystery....

* * *

My entire life I have been afraid of thunderstorms.

Until last week.

As far back as I can remember, I have become fearful and anxious with bad weather. Especially if I am home alone.

Until last week.

I have fled to neighbors' houses (the adult equivalent of my parents' bedroom, I suppose), I have hung out in large chain grocery stores, I have headed for the basement, I have sought solace with a pillow over my head and plugs in my ears...

.until.last.week.

With the increasing heat and humidity, we've had round after round of thunderstorms over the past couple of weeks.

One night I found myself home alone as a strong, sudden, forceful gale blew through.

I was calm.

I moved quietly through the house, unplugging the necessary electronics and locating the flashlight.

I was fine.

I was not afraid.

I did not flinch at the lightning, nor tremble with the thunder.

I felt at peace.

Today we had more storms. Hard rain, thunder, and lightning.

I napped.

I continued with my daily routine unattached to the rolling rumbles and pouring ran.

It was just the soundtrack playing in the background of my day.

* * *

When I tell you this is a huge shift for me, I cannot adequately express in words what I mean.

Perhaps, having weathered the inner and outer storms that have blown through my life over the past few years, I have a new-found sense of confidence in my survival skills.

I do know that I had a recent encounter which likely precipitated this transformation...

A few weeks ago I took an afternoon walk. It was raining lightly.

As I emerged from the woods, I sat down* to rest, ponder, and soak in the moment. Without solicitation, an overwhelming sense of peace came over me.

It's as if the very plants and trees in their abundant, moist greenery were speaking to me.

And all of a sudden I *knew* in every cell of my being that, no matter what happens in my life, I will be okay. There is nothing to fear.

It was a gift infusion of power and peace.

All these weeks later it stays with me ~ as fresh and as true as it was that day.

* * *

Have I left behind my PTSD? Anxiety? Depression?

Have I emerged from my Dark Night proudly wearing my red badge of courage?

Have I learned that the Soul who resides in my bodily guesthouse is truly eternal and unscathed by the trappings of this world?

Yes. I think so.

And it feels like a really good place to be.

* * *

"I am no longer afraid of storms,
for I am learning to sail my own ship."
~Louisa May Alcott

*It would only be later that we would discover the dove's nest tucked securely in the eaves of the park shelter under which I sat that day.

Go here to read about dove medicine.

Powerful Radiant Joy

2010-06-20T09:43:00.002-04:00

Lake Erie Sunset ~ June 2009

The Sun, each second, transforms four million tons of itself into light, giving itself over to become energy that we, with every meal, partake of. For four million years, humans have been feasting on the Sun's energy stored in the form of food, as each day the Sun dies as Sun and is reborn as the vitality of Earth. Every child of ours needs to learn the simple truth: She is the energy of the Sun. And we adults should organize things so her face shines with the same radiant joy.

Human generosity is possible only because at the center of the solar system a magnificent stellar generosity pours forth free energy day and night without stop and without complaint and without the slightest hesitation.

This is the way of the universe.
This is the way of life.
And this is the way in which each of us joins this cosmological lineage when we accept the Sun's gift of energy and transform it into creative action that will enable the community to flourish.

- Brian Swimme, The Hidden Heart of the Cosmos video

Even after all this time
The sun never says to the earth
"You owe me."
~Rumi

A Request

2010-06-18T07:43:00.001-04:00

Some of you may recall the saga of my friend, Shawn, who was arrested, jailed, sentenced, and imprisoned in Arizona last year. It has been a harrowing tale, through which I have learned a great deal about love, trust, pain, grief, hurt, confusion, helplessness, hope, steadfastness, anger, disbelief, human-ness, frailty, friendship, growing up, and letting go.

Shawn is currently serving out a 20-year-with-no-parole sentence in prison. While he was guilty of the crime he committed, his sentence was unusually harsh (his attorney told him if the same thing happened in Ohio he would have gotten 3-5 years). And we know, based on recent current events, that Arizona has some f*cked up laws governing their state and its residents.

To date I have received fifteen letters from him. It's very interesting to see how his 'voice' and even his handwriting have changed over time. I see evidence that he is, indeed, growing up. (Sometimes it *does* take an event such as this ~ and subsequent imprisonment ~ for this to happen in a person's life. He now recognizes that is the case for him and actually said he is grateful to have the chance to reflect on his life and receive the help and support he needs ~ although NOT for twenty years!)

Unfortunately, he does not have a large support system in place on the outside. He comes from a very dysfunctional family with no father (he was never a part of Shawn's life), no siblings, and a mentally-ill, absentee mother. His wife, struggling with her own mental/emotional/physical health issues was just released from the hospital after attempting suicide (again).

His financial needs are relatively little, yet seemingly insurmountable based on his situation.

He makes 31 cents an hour, working 30 hours per week in the prison's kitchen. (He started out at 18 cents an hour.) Yet will soon have his hours reduced, as the Department of Corrections is feeling the effects of budget cuts and the recession, too.

He is working to earn money towards a legal defense fund. In his most recent letter, he wrote:

"I am currently working on my Rule 32, which is an effort for an appeal, or Post Correction Relief. To raise content not brought up in the original court proceedings. In my study of my case, I've learned of several things of value that weren't raised. I feel I wasn't defended properly. There is proof of my claim. So I pray that I will get a second shot to prove that there wasn't sufficient evidence raised in certain aspects of my case...

As of right now I need $40 to get caught up with all my court documents. I am in debt to a guy because his sister is printing off my defense cases and my motions. She's been typing them up. I also owe by bunkie for stamps and reams of paper because, on top of having my friend's sister type my motions, I've been writing by-hand my responses and replies. Think of that as ten pages in quadricate, mailed to five people with, oh yes!, notaries at $2 a piece!...

I'll also need only $5-10 for the next two months to keep up. That's all. Between getting toiletries (soap, deoderant, etc.), it's simply been draining.

I'm sorry to ask, but I will use it wisely if you can help. All my legal paperwork could and would be caught up. That would be such a relief! So if you can help, thank you!"

Shawn was raised in a Protestant environment and attended a Christian high school. However, ever since I've known him (we met in 1996, when he was a youth volunteer in my department at the American Red Cross), he has been interested in Judaism.

Since his imprisonment, the tone of his letters has been peppered with references to the Judaic faith. He is framing his repentance and rehabilitation in terms of its structure and laws.
So it was with little surprise that I read...

"So now to tell you about my spirituality, (are you sitting down?). I've been praying, and really thinking. I had a guy share and confirm that, yes, I can get a job and make it a career on the outside as long as I'm sincere about my Teshuva (return to God). I'm in college (thru correspondence) to lay the foundation to become a Rabbi. Enclosed is my acceptance letter. As it states, I have a scholarship (yay!) but I owe my student fee and registration. ($76) So I pray I can get that paid. This has been a long time coming, but I feel pretty confident in my decision."

This letter, eight hand-written pages, included much more information ~ including the insights about his character flaws and faulty behavior patterns leading up to his arrest (learned via his various classes and counseling), and his delight at being able to partake in some Starbucks coffee recently.

What else can I tell you? Shawn turned 31 in March of this year. And he has a son, named Mitchell, whom he has not seen since he left Dayton in 2007 (that's a whole other story!).

I am not, in any way, making him out to be a victim in this case. He is 100% responsible for his actions and he knows that. However, he is *sincerely* repentant and recognizes the immense ramifications of his choices. He knows he is where he needs to be to get the help he could not find for himself in the outside world.

In the past, I have 'rescued' him financially on more than one occasion. That is why, up 'til now, I have resisted sending him anything, except letters and photos, while he has been incarcerated. I am measuring my response to his pleas for help and choosing to maintain healthy boundaries.

There is, and always will be, suffering in the world ~ yet part of my living a compassionate life means to alleviate that wherever I can.

The author of one of my favorite quotes died recently at the age of 99:

"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do."
~John Wooden

There is certainly a lot about today's world and its suffering that I cannot change. However, Shawn's situation is one in which I can, at least, help to alleviate some of his incredible struggle on this part of his journey.

So, it is with utmost humility and gratitude that I am giving you the chance to assist him at this time. Thank you for reading this far ~ and for considering a small donation on his behalf.

Namaste'

Happier days together in 2007

In Which Rabbit Speaks

2010-06-17T07:43:00.001-04:00

By the dear soul of Jen Lemen

A huge part (insert "lesson") of my journey over these past few years as been *slowing*down* enough* to pay attention and hear the messages that exist all around me. The Universe is always speaking ~ it's up to us to listen.

A profound blessing has been my deep, evolving connection to Mother Earth and the creatures with whom we share this sacred sphere. This very concept is a significant part of Summer Solstice energy to me. Power ~ passion ~ fertility ~ fullness.

Last evening, during my walk, I encountered a rabbit. It was sitting very still about ten feet from the sidewalk near a large bush. As I approached, it remained very still. I gently slowed down and came to a full stop on the sidewalk. We held each others' gaze for a time and I tried to let it know it was safe, that I wished no harm by being so close.

Eventually, I felt the need to move on and, as I did so, it quickly turned and hopped away down an alley. I paused to look once more and saw it sitting in the alley about fifty feet away. Perhaps it wanted to make sure I was not in pursuit. I wished it well, thanked it for being with me, and continued on homeward.

This morning, I retrieved my Animal Medicine Cards book to see what message Rabbit embodies. The connection was magical, as I had just written similar musings in my journal over the past couple of days and had a conversation on the subject with a dear friend over dinner last night.

"Here is the lesson. If you pulled Rabbit, stop talking about horrible things happening and get rid of "what if" in your vocabulary. This card may signal a time of worry about the future or of trying to exercise your control over that which is not yet in form ~ the future. Stop now! Write your fears down and be willing to feel them. Breathe into them, and feel them running through your body into Mother Earth as a give-away.

The paralyzed feeling which Rabbit experiences when being stalked is Rabbit in the contrary position. If you've tried to resolve a situation in your life and are unable to, you may be feeling frozen in motion. This could indicate a time to wait for the forces of the universe to start moving again. It could also indicated the need to stop and take a rest. It will always indicate a time when you need to re-evaluate the process you are under-going, and to rid yourself of any negative feelings, barriers, or duress. Simply put, you cannot have your influence felt until you rearrange your way of seeing the present set of circumstances.

There is always a way out of any situation, because the Universal Force does move on. It is the way in which you handle problems that allows you to succeed.

Take a hint from Rabbit. Burrow into a safe space to nurture yourself and release your fears until it is time again to move into the pasture, clear of prowlers who want a piece of your juicy energy."

* * *

More than one source has told me that June is a month for rest and rejuvenation. It seems Rabbit agrees.

My previous way of being in the world (read "linear, driven, accomplish-and-acquire-focused") is still adjusting to the sacred feminine spiral dance that is Life. As I seek to embrace a healthier, more peaceful existence, I am grateful for the teachers and guides who appear to lead the way and reassure my steps on the journey.

Today, as the fullness and power of Solstice manifest through me, I give thanks to the animal spirit guides for their increasing ministry in my Life.

Perhaps you, too, have a significant animal encounter story to share?

Animal Discovery

We Interrupt this Week's Regular Programming...

2010-06-16T08:43:00.002-04:00

In contemplating the upcoming Solstice, I have many blog post ideas swirling around in my head. Some of those will be appearing in this space soon.

For today, however, I couldn't pass up the chance to document this local story.

You can check out an awesome slideshow of the catastrophe here.

Much fodder for ridicule, jest, and nicknames since its erection in 2004, this statue was a famous icon.

There is even a song written about it. You can view that video here.

Of course, its fiery demise is open to myriad slants of speculation. (I'll keep my personal views private, thank you.)

Let me just say that...

...at an original cost of $250,000, I would hope that the church's intention to rebuild (which they've already stated) might be better suited to using those funds for a cause that would truly make a significant difference in the lives of those in need.

James 5:1-5
Come now, you rich, weep and howl for your miseries which are coming upon you. Your riches have rotted and your garments have become moth-eaten. Your gold and your silver have rusted; and their rust will be a witness against you and will consume your flesh like fire. It is in the last days that you have stored up your treasure!

Behold, the pay of the laborers who mowed your fields, and which has been withheld by you, cries out against you; and the outcry of those who did the harvesting has reached the ears of the Lord of Sabbath. You have lived luxuriously on the earth and led a life of wanton pleasure; you have fattened your hearts in a day of slaughter.

Embracing Solstice Energy

2010-06-13T17:43:00.002-04:00

Photo Source

In the recent past, I have come to realize June as a very powerful month. On many levels, it has deep significance and symbolism for the awakening journey that is my life.

As we pass the New Moon (6/12) ~ travel through the week approaching the Summer Solstice (6/21) ~ and then journey onward to the Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse (6/26) ~ I hope to capture some of the Magic, Meaning, and Mystery this time of the year contains.

Today, I start with this poem by Z. Budapes t ~

Solstice Poem

Ten thousand years I have been sleeping,
and now am being wakened.
My heavy eyelashes are the woods,
they are beckoning.
My heart, the clouds,
are surprised because they are calling me,
calling me.
My Earth-body is bedecked
with a thousand flowers;
many breasts of mine, the mountains,
joyfully rearing their tips.
They are calling!
They are calling!

I want to embrace all the sad and the lost.
All wrongs, my hands shall doom to death.
I am the defender of every woman
as I am the defender of my holy self.

Earth-Mother am I,
the Only One;
everything springs from me.
I carry the seed of all creation.

I, alone am the bestower of life.
Oh, oh...
Oh, I am awake!

This My Excavation

2010-06-10T08:43:00.001-04:00

One of my new favorite songs...

(The a capella version by Sonos is a magical gift for the ears and soul!)

Re: Stacks
(Words and Music by Bon Iver)

This my excavation and today is Kumran
Everything that happens from now on
This is pouring rain
This is paralyzed

I keep throwing it down two-hundred at a time
It's hard to find it when you knew it
When your money's gone
And you're drunk as hell

On your back with your racks as the stacks are your load
In the back and the racks and the stacks of your load
In the back with your racks and you're un-stacking your load

Well I've been twisting to the sun and the moon
I needed to replace
The fountain in the front yard is rusted out
All my love was down
In a frozen ground

There's a black crow sitting across from me
His wiry legs are crossed
He is dangling my keys, he even fakes a toss
Whatever could it be
That has brought me to this loss?

On your back with your racks as the stacks are your load
In the back and the racks and the stacks of your load
In the back with your racks and you're un-stacking your load

This is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization
It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away
Your love will be
Safe with me

Radiance

2010-06-08T21:43:00.001-04:00

It is with great joy and gratitude that I present to you
the incredibly awesome team of women
joining together as
At Peace Wellness and Massage.

And a very happy yours truly! :-)

Photos are compliments
of the amazing Kerri Aldrich
at Union Street Photography.

Monday Madness

2010-06-07T07:43:00.002-04:00

school of thinking.org

I find myself confused.

And am holding some cognitive dissonance on behalf of our nation.

So...

...today's post can be found over here.

Gaia's Hemorrhage...and Healing

2010-06-05T08:43:00.005-04:00

This week, for the first time, I heard the Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill referred to as the hemorrhaging of Mother Earth. How true and profound.

AP image from Huffington Post

Today, I am finding solace, hope, and inspiration here:

Go here to learn more.

And here to view more video of the Grandmothers.

Now is the time.

Funny Sign Friday #6

2010-06-04T06:43:00.002-04:00

Full of It

2010-05-30T09:43:00.000-04:00

Thankful Thursday

2010-05-27T09:43:00.003-04:00

While I might spend a great deal of time and space in this forum lamenting the ongoing challenges in my life, (and for your patience with that, dear readers, I am most thankful!), today I am needing to document some of the amazing blessings I am currently choosing to embrace.

1. Tanner Turns Three!

Today is Tanner's 3rd birthday. (So says his paperwork from the Humane Society)
His presence in our home and lives has been a magical, wonderful, hysterical, healing adventure. The amount of loving affection he radiates is truly a miracle.
As of June 11th he will have been with us a year!

2. Spring Heat and Nature's Fullness

Every day this week we have taken a ~4-mile hike through the woods near our house. Having access to this wonderland right across the street is an incredible blessing for which we give thanks each time we immerse ourselves in its sights and sounds.

In addition, the weather has been warm enough to hang laundry outside to dry. Sleeping on clean cotton sheets that have been dried in the sunshine and fresh air is a blessing full of sensory comfort; one of life's simplest pleasures for sure.

3. Animal Friends

We are delighted with the number and variety of creatures that co-exist around us. Choosing to take the time and energy to connect with them on a daily basis is such an enriching, grounding, humbling, expansive experience.

4. A New Release from Natalie Merchant

Although perhaps the most aloof person we've ever seen/heard in concert, her music and ingenious, unique creativity do not disappoint. This album is no exception.

Just looking at the inside cover and extensive liner notes is richness indeed. Right now, this is the one song we just can't get enough of!

5. Good Friends and Neighbors

I continue to be showered with friendships from powerful, wonderful, insightful, authentic, fun-loving, creative, inspirational women. I am supported, consoled, challenged, delighted, embraced, nudged, fed, housed, hugged, gifted, loved, and soooooo much more!

(Even though your picture does not appear here with me ~ if you're reading this, you can count yourself among my soul tribe. Whether or not you realize it, in your own special way, you are a blessing!)

In addition, we've had the opportunity to spend more time with Ben & Tessa over the past month or so. What a joy to have such great neighbors in our block ~ who let us watch their delightful children, share gardening tips and treats with us, give us huge discounts at their porch sales, invite us over for gas-stove-cooked meals when the power goes out, keep an eye out for Tanner and other nearby critters, and remind us what it means to embrace a sense of community.

6. Authors and Teachers

Recently, I've been heard to utter (more than once) "so many books, so little time". Honestly. I could read all day, every day and be happy. I just love books.

Some of my current teachers & companions are:

~Elizabeth Lesser's The Seeker's Guide
~Plenty: Eating Locally on the 100-mile Diet
~The incredible truths, humor, and insight in Derrick Jensen's Walking on Water
(I recently commented to someone in an email that he is the new object of my reading affection!)
~Love is Letting Go of Fear by Gerald Jampolsky
~Loving What Is by Byron Katie (I've mentioned this before. It continues to be one of my go-to manuals when I need to re-arrange my stinkin' thinkin'.)
~Yoga Journal magazine
~Yes! Magazine
~My Healing Oracle cards by Carol Sue Flowers
~There is Nothing Wrong With You by Cheri Huber

7. Moon Time

Embracing my newly discovered sacred femininity has me fascinated by the cycles of the moon and my own personal ebbs and flows. My cycle is now acutely consistent with the moon (my period arrives with the full moon) and I find profound wisdom in acknowledging this powerful part of my being.

You can read more about today's Flower Full Moon here.

8. My Amazing Yoga Teacher, Laurel

In addition to magical yoga classes, she and her husband offer monthly Kirtan and Satsang gatherings. Our local area is blessed beyond measure by their presence!!!

This photo shows just a portion of the alter she created for our recent celebration of Vesak (Buddha Day).

9. Advocates

For those doing the tough work of advocacy in this world ~ shining the light of truth, peace, justice, equality, sustainability ~ I am awed, inspired, and grateful.

Two such groups are Mercy for Animals and Ohioans for Humane Farms. Ohio is one of the worst states in this country in regards to how our farm animals are treated. Really. It's unfathomable. And these two groups are working tirelessly to turn that around.

This video was filmed on a dairy farm that is about one hour from my home. And represents the way 99% of farm animals in our country are treated. (Yes, 99% of the animals consumed in this country come from factory farms like this one.)

(Update: one of the workers shown in the video was arrested this week on 12 counts of animal cruelty)

Now is the time to be vegan, friends. Honestly.

10. My Husband

It's been almost 20 years since our first meeting on a blind date. Although the last year or so has been arduously challenging (hello, midlife crises!) he continues to be a source of joy, laughter, love, help, support, generosity, creativity, spontaneity, appreciation, motivation, and dedication for me. I am humbly learning what it means to view marriage as a spiritual practice.
For this I am truly, *truly* grateful.

And one more for good measure...

11. Great Photos

This most recent shot of our grandson, Lenox (who will turn four in June) came via email from my stepson, Skip, in Seattle. It warms my heart and makes me chuckle!

* * *

Okay, now it's your turn :-)

What's on your thankful list today???

Who's Crazy?

2010-05-25T07:43:00.001-04:00

"The needs of the natural world are more important than the needs of the economic system."
— Derrick Jensen (Endgame: Volume 1: The Problem of Civilization)

* * *

"I sometimes think timidity is destroying the planet as surely as are greed, militarism, and hatred; I now see these as aspects of the same problem. Those is power couldn't commit routine atrocities if the rest of us hadn't already been trained to submit. The planet is being killed, and when it comes time for me to die, I don't want to look back and wish I'd done more, been more radical, more militant in its defense. I want to live my life as if it really matters, to live my life as if I'm alive, to live my life as if it's real.

And I want to apologize, just as the people in the generation before mine should have apologized to me, for the wreckage of a world we're leaving you. The people of my generation are passing on to you the social patterns and structures, the ways of being and thinking, the physical artifacts themselves that are killing the planet. We're blowing it, badly, and you'll suffer for it. I'm so very sorry.

Which brings me to the next thing I wish someone had told me. This one would have saved me years of distress. You're not crazy, the culture is crazy. If it seems insane to you that our culture is systematically dismantling the ecological infrastructure of the planet, yet we pay less attention to that than we do to professional sports, that's because it IS insane. If it seems senseless to you that our culture values money and economic productivity over human and nonhuman lives, that's because it IS senseless. If it seems crazy to you that most people spend most of their waking hours working jobs they'd rather not do, that's because it IS crazy. There's nothing wrong with you for thinking these things. In fact it means you're still alive."

~Derrick Jensen (Walking on Water, pages 49-50)

* * *

Photo source = Huffington Post

* * *

Insane for the Light

2010-05-23T07:43:00.000-04:00

The Holy Longing

Tell a wise person, or else keep silent,
because the massman will mock it right away.
I praise what is truly alive,
what longs to be burned to death.

In the calm water of the love-nights,
where you were begotten, where you have begotten,
a strange feeling comes over you
when you see the silent candle burning.

Now you are no longer caught
in the obsession with darkness,
and a desire for higher love-making
sweeps you upward.

Distance does not make you falter,
now, arriving in magic, flying,
and finally, insane for the light,
you are the butterfly and you are gone.

And so long as you haven't experienced
this: to die and so to grow,
you are only a troubled guest
on the dark earth.

~Goethe
(1749 ~ 1832)

Funny Sign Friday ~ Bird in Box

2010-05-21T09:43:00.001-04:00

And, indeed, there is!

Travel Bliss

2010-05-20T07:43:00.000-04:00

Rest. Relax. Renew. Repeat.

2010-05-12T08:43:00.001-04:00

We call this pose the "Big Tanner Stretch" :-)

I'm off for some much-needed R & R, including a long weekend at the home of this amazing woman and her wonderful family.

See you next week!

God = Love

2010-05-08T14:43:00.001-04:00

My Eyes So Soft

Don't surrender your loneliness
So quickly
Let it cut more deeply.

Let it ferment and season you
As few human
Or even divine ingredients can.

Something missing in my heart tonight
Has made my eyes so soft,
My voice
So tender,

My need of God
Absolutely
Clear.

~Hafiz

Funny Sign Friday #4

2010-05-07T08:43:00.001-04:00

This is in a small park near our house. It just cracks me up.

I bet Lynne Truss would love it!

Revolution

2010-05-06T07:43:00.004-04:00

Wednesday Walking Update (4) ~ Nobody Right, Nobody Wrong

2010-05-05T08:43:00.002-04:00

On Saturday I stepped out onto a bridge of truth.

I didn't even know it was there until the words came out of my mouth. Then all of a sudden I had taken a step onto the bridge that lead to a more powerful place.

The mist cleared and there it was; the bridge of speaking my truth. I planted myself firmly on its foundation and stood exposed in my own power. Enough!

The fallout was not pretty.

And I've been left to second guess myself ever since.
(Although the initial act was quite peaceful, centered, and empowering.)

Now I am reaching deep into the well of forgiveness and mining the origins of compassion that I know are somewhere inside me. It is a minute by minute practice.

I am reading and re-reading this article to remind myself what it takes; because most often these days, love is a choice not a feeling.
And forgiveness is a verb.

* * *

And the process, I skipped a day of walking.
Busyness and a weird, out-of-nowhere thunderstorm changed my plans.
I'm okay with that.
I needed a day off to process the intensity.
And then yesterday I got back on the trail.

44 out of 45 days

222,746 steps
111.24 miles

* * *

Where do you find forgiveness?

How to you embrace/embody love in the midst of the fallout?

* * *

Nobody Right Nobody Wrong Lyrics

by Michael Franti

They say you got to chose your side and, when its done.
Nobody right, nobody wrong.
It ended in a great big fight and, when its done.
Nobody right, nobody wrong.
Conflict each and every day, at home and in the streets, and in my soul every way.
Its hard to keep the faith, when I feels so far away.
Times i feel connected, times I'm runnin' away.
But Whoa Whoa, Cant you see, all the sickness, hunger, and poverty.
War on the land and war on the seas.
Whoa, War is a painful thing.
One argument that none of us can hide, is the one thats ragin down deep inside.
Tryin' to make a point, or have the last word.
But most the time people just tryin to be heard.

They say you got to chose your side and, when its done.
Nobody right, nobody wrong.
It ended in a great big fight and, when its done.
Nobody right, nobody wrong.

But how many people never eva broke a rule.
And how many people tryin to get their kids to school
And how many people prayin they only find a job.
And how many poeple are afraid of gettin robbed.
Whoa Whoa, nobody knows.
And whoa whoa, only god knows.
Numbers escalate, wall street, crime rate.
From the Bahgdad streets, to my city by the bay.

Hey they say you got to chose your side and, when its done.
Nobody right, nobody wrong.
It ended in a great big fight and, when its done.
Nobody right, nobody wrong.

And I say, can you say what you mean?
And can you mean what you mean what you say?
And can you say what you mean?
And can you mean what you mean what you say?
And can you say what you mean?
Every single day? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Reach out a hand to somebody who needs a hand.
And reach out a heart to somebody torn apart.
Its hard, this livin, this life we've been given.
Locked in your soul, or locked up in prison.
Remember you have to reach high to be risen.
The day you let go is the day you are forgiven.

So they say you got to chose your side and, when its done.
Nobody right, nobody wrong.
Nobody right now.
Nobody right, nobody wrong.
Nobody right, nobody wrong.
And I say, one man got a jet fighter, and the other got a song.
Nobody right, nobody wrong.

* * *

For Every Woman

2010-05-02T14:43:00.000-04:00

"For every woman we have named,
there are a hundred who speak;
for every hundred who speak,
there are a thousand who know;
for every thousand who know,
there are ten thousand who do not yet know
because their truth lies still deeper
than all the ones who speak and know and can be named.

And every one of us is needed now.
To do whatever we can do:
to be named,
to speak,
to know,
to not know.
And everyone,
the one who can be named,
who can speak,
who knows,
and who does not yet know,
is within each of us."

~from The Feminine Face of God

Much gratitude to each of you for your support, commiseration, and encouragement in the Comments these past few days. You are loved and appreciated :)

Joyous Beltane

2010-05-01T08:43:00.002-04:00

~A sacred fire in a dear friend's backyard~

"Beltane is the last of the three spring fertility festivals, the others being Imbolc and Ostara. Beltane is the second principal Celtic festival (the other being Samhain). Celebrated approximately halfway between Vernal (spring) equinox and the midsummer (Summer Solstice). Beltane traditionally marked the arrival if summer in ancient times....

Beltane, and its counterpart Samhain, divide the year into its two primary seasons, winter (Dark Part) and summer (Light Part). As Samhain is about honoring Death, Beltane, its counter part, is about honoring Life. It is the time when the sun is fully released from his bondage of winter and able to rule over summer and life once again.

Beltane, like Samhain, is a time of "no time" when the veils between the two worlds are at their thinnest. No time is when the two worlds intermingle and unite and the magic abounds! It is the time when the Faeries return from their winter respite, carefree and full of faery mischief and faery delight. On the night before Beltane, in times past, folks would place rowan branches at their windows and doors for protection, many otherworldly occurrences could transpire during this time of "no time". Traditionally on the Isle of Man, the youngest member of the family gathers primroses on the eve before Beltane and throws the flowers at the door of the home for protection. In Ireland it is believed that food left over from May Eve must not be eaten, but rather buried or left as an offering to the faery instead. Much like the tradition of leaving of whatever is not harvested from the fields on Samhain, food on the time of no time is treated with great care.

When the veils are so thin it is an extremely magical time, it is said that the Queen of the Faeries rides out on her white horse. Roving about on Beltane eve She will try to entice people away to the Faeryland. Legend has it that if you sit beneath a tree on Beltane night, you may see the Faery Queen or hear the sound of Her horse's bells as She rides through the night. Legend says if you hide your face, She will pass you by but if you look at Her, She may choose you. There is a Scottish ballad of this called Thomas the Rhymer, in which Thomas chooses to go the Faeryland with the Queen and has not been seen since....

The beginning of summer heralds an important time, for the winter is a difficult journey and weariness and disheartenment set in, personally one is tired down to the soul. In times past the food stocks were low; variety was a distant memory. The drab non-color of winter's end perfectly represents the dullness and fatigue that permeates on so many levels to this day. We need Beltane, as the earth needs the sun, for our very Spirit cries out for the renewal of summer jubilation.

Beltane marks that the winter's journey has passed and summer has begun, it is a festival of rapturous gaiety as it joyfully heralds the arrival of summer in her full garb. Beltane, however, is still a precarious time, the crops are still very young and tender, susceptible to frost and blight. As was the way of ancient thought, the Wheel would not turn without human intervention. People did everything in their power to encourage the growth of the Sun and His light, for the Earth will not produce without the warm love of the strong Sun. Fires, celebration and rituals were an important part of the Beltane festivities, as to insure that the warmth of the Sun's light would promote the fecundity of the earth.

Beltane marks the passage into the growing season, the immediate rousing of the earth from her gently awakening slumber, a time when the pleasures of the earth and self are fully awakened. It signals a time when the bounty of the earth will once again be had. May is a time when flowers bloom, trees are green and life has again returned from the barren landscape of winter, to the hope of bountiful harvests, not too far away, and the lighthearted bliss that only summer can bring....

The Bel fire is a sacred fire with healing and purifying powers. The fires further celebrate the return of life, fruitfulness to the earth and the burning away of winter. The ashes of the Beltane fires were smudged on faces and scattered in the fields. Household fires would be extinguished and re-lit with fresh fire from the Bel Fires.

Celebration includes frolicking throughout the countryside, maypole dancing, leaping over fires to ensure fertility, circling the fire three times (sun-wise) for good luck in the coming year, athletic tournaments feasting, music, drinking, children collecting the May: gathering flowers. children gathering flowers, hobby horses, May birching and folks go a maying". Flowers, flower wreaths and garlands are typical decorations for this holiday, as well as ribbons and streamers. Flowers are a crucial symbol of Beltane, they signal the victory of Summer over Winter and the blossoming of sensuality in all of nature and the bounty it will bring...

There is also a Queen of May. She is said in many areas to have worn a gold crown with a single, gold leaf at its front, in other areas her crown was made of fresh flowers. She was typically chosen at the start of the Beltane festival, which in time past was after sundown on the eve before Beltane day. Many accounts mention both a May Queen and King being chosen, whom would reign from sundown the eve before the Beltane day to sunset on Beltane. Among their duties would be to announce the Beltane games and award the prizes to the victors. The rudimentary base of this practice can be drawn back to the roots of Beltane festivities, the union of the Goddess and Her Consort, the joining of earth and sun, the endowment of summer. The Goddess has many guises: Danu - The Great Mother, Blodeuwedd (the Flower Bride), Isolt (Iseult, Isolde) and many, many others. The consort can also take many forms including the Green Man, Cernunnos or Tristan.

As Beltane marks this handfasting (wedding) of the Goddess and God, it too marks the reawakening of the earth's fertility in its fullest. This is the union between the Great Mother and her Young Consort, this coupling brings new life on earth. It is on a Spiritual level, the unifying of the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine to bring forth the third, consciousness. On the physical, it is the union of the Earth and Sun to bring about the fruitfulness of the growing season.

May is the month of sensuality and sexuality revitalized, the reawakening of the earth and Her Children. It is the time when we reawaken to the vivid colors, vibrant scents, tingling summer breezes, and the rapture of summer after a long dormant winter. It is a time of extraordinary expression of earth, animal, and person a time of great enchantment and celebration.

The excitement and beauty of Beltane can not be better expressed than through the gaiety and joy of our children. There is not doubt "spring fever" hits at Beltane, and hits hard. Children are full of unbridled energy charged up and ready to go! Children always amplify the seasonal energies and the thrill of their change, they bring richness and merriment wherever they go.

It is the child's unrestrained expression of bliss and delight that is what Beltane is all about. It is the sheer joy of running through fields, picking flowers, rapturing in the sunlight, delighting in the fragrance of spring, dancing in the fresh dew covered grass. Our children guide us through the natural abandonment of our adult sensibilities and show us how to take grand pleasure, warmth and bliss from the gift of Beltane."

(Above excerpts found here....)

Enjoy a lovely Beltane video here.

* * *

How interesting that we chose the eve of Beltane for our wedding day!!!

* * *

Since I am still in the process of learning to embrace my Goddess Self, I will keep further musings and discoveries quiet at this time. I am finding great power in getting to know the Sacred Feminine that exists within me and the world.
(It is a somewhat scary and confusing process at times.)

Just this past Thursday, my Goddess name was revealed to me.

Things are changing indeed.

~Blessed Be~

A Day for Celebration

2010-04-30T09:43:00.003-04:00

Today, April 30th, Doug and I mark 16 years of marriage.

Having withstood the endurance test that has been our last year or so,
we are slap-happy with relief and joy at the arrival of this day.

Honestly, we are parading around the house in silliness
with this Olympic Fanfare music blaring!
(Turn up your speakers)

We've spent some of this morning drinking coffee on the sunny front porch and laughing hysterically at our wedding photo album :-)

* * *

There is much I could say about the mystery that is love
and the crucible of matrimony, especially over the long term.

Yet I am *far* from having anything figured out.

"The more I see the less I know", as Michael Franti declared.

* * *
And as U2 soulfully imparts in Moment of Surrender,

The stone was semi precious
We were barely conscious
Two souls too smart to be
In the realm of certainty
Even on our wedding day

We set ourselves on fire
Oh God, do not deny her
Its not if I believe in love
(But) If love believes in me
Oh believe in me

The outside of our wedding program read,

"With each believing the other to be
A giver of love,
A sharer of sorrow,
A bringer of joy,
And a reason for life..."

And despite everything the past 16 years have thrown at us,
I still believe those things.

Please celebrate with us by hugging the people close to you
and telling them you love them.

For, ultimately, LOVE is the glue that holds us all together.

And even when we might not believe in love,
or have *any*clue* about what we're doing,
love believes in us.

When You Know It's Right

2010-04-29T07:43:00.000-04:00

Don't you just love this logo?

This morning I will go visit a new wellness center in Dayton. I have been invited to meet with the owners and consider becoming a part of their team. They believe (and I am inclined to agree) that my coaching business would be a perfect fit.

In many, many ways I already *know* this is the next right step.

I've got that giddy, free-floating, liberated, Trusting, acknowledged-and-supported-by-the-Universe feeling in the core of my being. And a smile on my face.

I'll keep you posted. :)

Wednesday Walking Update (3) ~ Full Moon Intensity

2010-04-28T08:18:00.004-04:00

Our Goddess Circle Fire ~ April 2010

"This is your fire, your burning desires tied to the energy to manifest those desires."
~BlissChick

* * *
My Streak Walking Progress
38 days
196,884 steps
98.44 miles
* * *

Perhaps you're feeling it, too. The energy of today's Full Moon, with Mercury in Retrograde and other planetary influences bearing down on us.

For a full report, please take a few minutes to read this excellent recap.

For those of you who follow numbers and numerology, please note the repeating numbers in my walking progress report. (4's, 8's, 9's). In addition, I awoke abruptly at 4:48am this morning and could not go back to sleep. This full Moon occurs on 4/28 at 8:18am in my time zone.

See a pattern? (Here's a brief and informative explanation of recurring numbers.)

As you might have noticed, there is *very*powerful*energy involved with this particular full Moon. (My hunch is that Gail is feeling the effects quite acutely right now. Her most recent post is a perfect example of what's happening!)

"The Scorpio Full Moon on April 28th features a number of powerful aspects and this lunar event is likely to carry a fair amount of intensity with it. Scorpio is the sign of intensity and passion - under the Scorpio influence we reach deep into the underworld of emotions to where our feelings are raw and true. This is no time for superficiality!

Under this Mars influence we may become aware of hidden causes of anger and frustration, and this is the time to recognize these feelings and bring them into our conscious awareness.

The opposition from Saturn to Uranus is still nearly exact, hinting that the aggression that lies at the heart of this Full Moon will stem from any imbalance that occurs between the restrictive principle (Saturn) and the principle of change (Uranus)."

(Source: BeliefNet)

The chakra most associated with power is our 3rd chakra. And, indeed, mine has been DEMANDING my attention lately! Stomachaches, digestive woes, fatigue, confusion, anxiety...and an almost constant sense of being overwhelmed. Yesterday I turned to the 3rd chakra chapter in Wheels of Life and made some adjustments in my daily routine that truly helped!

As Bliss Chick so eloquently explained in her post, our 3rd chakra is "Navel Power Fuels Your Life".
(I encourage you to read her post and visit the checklist to see if you might need some 3rd chakra therapy!)

Fire transmutes. It tears down, destroys, burns up. We are refined by its power. If we can endure its (often necessary) destruction, beauty will come from the ashes.

And so it is with the energy that is today's full Moon and its residual effects. Power. Intensity. Passion. Change. Manifestation. Growth.

* * *

I am curious.

What are you feeling/noticing this week?

Are you staying balanced? In need of a tune up?

Are you feeling the push/pull of something nagging at your attention and energy field?

What fiery power do you need to embrace today?

* * *

Something Healing This Way Comes*

2010-04-25T09:43:00.000-04:00

~On a recent cool evening~

Oh wisdom
in your fur coat
and whiskers.
What don't you know?
sometimes I believe
I have seen my soul searched
in your eyes,
how much time passes
between us without word?
how much do you know
that I've just begun
to understand?

spirit of grace
and humor
on all fours.

~Pam Reinke

(from Animals as Teachers and Healers
by Susan Chernak McElroy)

*This post is in response to Liz's invitation to share the rhythm of our days.

Funny Sign Friday #3

2010-04-23T06:43:00.002-04:00

Chinatown ~ San Francisco

Earthlings

2010-04-22T08:43:00.001-04:00

If you cannot watch this movie in its entirety right now,
I encourage you to at least take in the first 10 minutes.

“We need another and a wiser
and perhaps a more mystical concept of animals.
Remote from universal nature,
and living by complicated artifice,
man in civilization surveys the creature
through the glass of his knowledge
and sees thereby a feather magnified
and the whole image in distortion.

We patronize them for their incompleteness,
for their tragic fate of having taken form
so far below ourselves.
And therein we err, and greatly err.

For the animal shall not be measured by man.

In a world older and more complete than ours
they move finished and complete,
gifted with extensions of the senses
we have lost or never attained,
living by voices we shall never hear.

They are not brethren,
they are not underlings;
they are other nations
caught with ourselves in the net of life and time,
fellow prisoners of the splendor and travail of the earth.”

~Henry Beston
in The Outermost House

Wednesday Walking Update (2)

2010-04-21T07:43:00.003-04:00

My Streak Walking Progress

31 days
167,104 steps
83.51 miles

I pass this statue on some of my daily walks. It is always a chance to pause and soak in the majesty of Nature. I like watching how the area around the statue changes with the seasons.

Good news! The woods and park are almost completely litter free! As we walk and pick up trash, we've noticed crews of clean-up people doing the same (in conjunction with a local Adopt-a-Park project and Earth Day, I believe). Except for cigarette butts and an occasional bottle, can, straw, or piece of paper/plastic, we are not finding much in the way of litter. It's a good feeling :)

On our walk last Thursday, we came upon a garage sale (one of the 'dangers' of daily walking this time of year, I'm afraid!). Among other things, I scored a rebounder (mini trampoline) for $3.00 and two pair of awesome non-leather shoes for 50 cents each.

The benefits of daily walking are quite noticeable from a physical fitness perspective. That's cool! (I've even started carrying small hand weights with me on some days.)

On the other hand, the toll of putting in approximately 20 miles each week cannot be underestimated. I find myself exhausted (in a good way) much more often now ~ with sore, tight muscles and an overall sense of bodily purification. This cleansing is welcomed and I am being mindful of listening to my body. (I've scheduled a massage and energy work session in the coming week. And grabbed this book at the library, upon recommendation from Lori Lyn.)

As we honor Mother Earth this week, I am glad to be connecting with Her in this new practice of daily walking. Whether I walk 1, 3, 4 or 6 miles ~ I am intentionally sending healing energy into the Earth and taking my steps for peace and healing.

“The care of the Earth is our most ancient and most worthy,
and after all our most pleasing responsibility.
To cherish what remains of it and to foster its renewal is our only hope.”

~Wendell Berry

Hang Up. Slow Down. Pay Attention.

2010-04-19T20:43:00.002-04:00

Tonight, on my way from work to the library, I witnessed an accident. A motorcyclist was struck and severely injured by an SUV that turned left in front of him.

It was horrible.

I am still shaken.

The man driving the SUV was talking on his cell phone.

I see it all day long.

Drivers are SOOOOOOO distracted.

(Earlier today I saw a motorist change lanes ~ cutting over and zooming past another car ~ in the middle of an intersection!)

And you know what?

It's not worth it.

Wherever you're going.
Whatever you're doing.
Whoever you're talking to.

It's not worth it.
IT IS NOT WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!

I promise.

* * *

Please join me in making your vehicle a No Phone Zone.

You can take the pledge and learn more here.

* * *

And then, go here, to learn more from the Divine BlissChick about living car free!

Embracing Lovingkindness

2010-04-18T12:43:00.001-04:00

KINDNESS

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

~Naomi Shihab Nye

The Power of Hope

2010-04-17T10:00:00.000-04:00

Odette with Jen Lemen ~ San Francisco BlogHer 2008

Odette's girls are finally (!) coming to be reunited with her in the U.S.

You can help make it possible here.

Funny Sign Friday #2

2010-04-16T08:43:00.003-04:00

At a 'Rock the Vote' concert

(We would subsequently discover that it was the presence of
the Beastie Boys and their fans
that would necessitate this sign!!!)

Charlotte, NC

In our neighborhood

What's adding humor to your life these days?

Wednesday Walking Update

2010-04-14T08:43:00.004-04:00

25 days
140,682 steps
70.34 miles

So far, I'm having a blast with my daily walking!

I'm learning a lot about myself and my surroundings. I'm discovering new species of plants (like this one) and getting reacquainted with some of my favorite critters who emerge this time of year (we had our first chipmunk sighting and took a long pause to watch a pileated woodpecker beat the heck out of a tree trunk ~ all in the same morning!).

Today I discovered another blogger (who's also vegan ~ hooray!) who heard the very same interview on The Story that inspired me! He's embracing streak running.

And...I've noticed there is NO national streak walking association.
I'm feeling left out.

Perhaps I'll start one!!!

It's Too Hard to Be a Human

2010-04-11T08:43:00.004-04:00

"Irene bent over and held her son. With her arms locked, she backed up to the living room couch and toppled them both onto the pillows. Stoney tightened his arms around Irene, still sobbing so harshly that he couldn't form words. There was nothing to do but stroke his sun-shot hair. Soon Irene could feel the hot tears soak through her shirt. What is it? The crying began all over again with the same miserable force. Then Stoney quit.

I don't want to be a human, he said.
His voice was passionate.
I want to be a snake.
I want to be a rat or spider or wolf.
Maybe a cheetah.

Why, what's wrong?

It's too hard to be a human.
I wish I was born a crow, a raccoon, or I could be a horse.
I don't want to be human anymore."

~Louise Erdrich, reading from her book, Shadow Tag
(hear/read the interview with her on Bill Moyers' Journal)

Funny Sign Friday :)

2010-04-09T07:43:00.002-04:00

Chicago

San Francisco

Charlotte, NC

And....as seen on Craigslist today:

My girlfriend broke up with me
and all she left me with
was a broken heart
and a bonsai tree.
If you want the bonsai tree call me at ***-***-****.

Crazy for Walking

2010-04-07T07:43:00.003-04:00

Image by the delightful Emma

One of the advantages of my current part-time job is that I get to listen to the radio while I drive the van. (Once the kids are on board I turn it off, yet I still get a good 30+ minutes or so of listening in each day.)

Recently, I've become a fan of The Story. It seems I like human interest tales!

A couple of weeks ago, I listened as the host interviewed a woman who became re-connected with her son through the practice of daily running. (You can listen to their story here.) Through their sharing, I was introduced to the concept of streak running, by which people see how many consecutive days they can run at least one mile.

I became inspired!

Now, I've never been a runner (my body is just not made to do that gracefully!), but I do enjoy walking. And I DO like a challenge!

So......

I've taken up the project of streak walking. :)

I walk every day.

Sometimes it's several miles. Other days just a quick trip around the neighborhood.
Sometimes I walk alone. Sometimes Doug joins me.
I might listen to music or podcasts ~ or just enjoy the incredible sounds of Nature.

Peace is every step.
The shining red sun is my heart.
Each flower smiles with me.
How green, how fresh all that grows.
How cool the wind blows.
Peace is every step.
It turns the endless path to joy.

~Thich Nhat Hanh

Embracing the paths of Peace Pilgrim and Thich Nhat Hanh is enriching my journeys. I am counting my steps (calling it the "Peace Is (My) Every Step" project) and logging them in a spreadsheet. I'm keeping a small journal of my experience ~ noting time, temperature, sights, sounds, etc.

So far I've counted 96,500 steps (approximately 48 miles) over 17 days.

Since watching the movie No Impact Man (and reading his book ~ I *highly* recommend both), Doug and I have begun picking up trash when we walk through the woods and park near our house. It's astounding how much stuff is cluttering up our environment!

Never one to come naturally to the concept of 'exercise', I must tell you ~ this has become infectious! Much like BlissChick discovering her dancer self, the process of daily walking (as an intentional practice) has already changed my life! I feel better, I look better, I am stronger and more peaceful. I see the world differently and have discovered a new perspective on my local surroundings.

My hope for today is that you have something in your daily routine that brings you joy, health, happiness, and a sense of mindfulness. Often the greatest riches are found in the simple acts we perform on a regular basis.

Please comment ~ share your experiences & what you're discovering so far this Spring.

Remember and Release

2010-04-04T08:43:00.003-04:00

Easter is different in so many ways for me now versus what it used to be. In the midst of the ongoing redefining, I am doing my best to settle in with just what I want and need it to represent in my life at this time. For today that is remembrance, peace, hope, contentment, abundance, beauty, joy, love ~ and the promise of new life.

This year especially, there is much to remember. Several memories demand my mindful contemplation and heartfelt embrace before being released into joyful celebration:

* * *
April 3rd
~Easter Sunday 1993, Doug and I announced our engagement at my family's holiday gathering
~Yesterday, Doug's mother, Ginny, would have marked her 75th birthday (she died just a few months after we were married in 1994)

April 4th
~It was a year ago yesterday that our beloved cat was ushered into his final rest
~And this marks the 43rd anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s infamous speech at Riverside Church, in which he risked everything to finally speak the truth of his conscience about the war in Vietnam
~A year to the day later, in 1968, he was assassinated in Memphis

April 6th
~The beginning of the Rwandan Genocide of 1994
(At the time, being caught up in the happiness of planning our wedding, I was relatively (and sadly) oblivious to what was happening. I would go on, however, to devote much time and attention to advocating for and resettling Rwandan refugees here in Dayton from 1996 to 1999).

* * *

It seems I am still pondering much in my heart these days. And abiding in receptive silence as my world unfolds around me. (Choosing something like a star to set my mind on and be staid.)

I do not have the will nor presence of mind to elaborate much on the truths that are being mined within this innermost part of my journey.

On this Easter Sunday, I remember ~ and release. I turn my face to the sun and delight in the lovely sights, sounds, and scents all around me ~ marveling at the miraculous beauty that lives in the promise of Spring.

I claim this hope and beauty for myself, my beloved family and friends, and all sentient beings.

~ ~ ~

Here's a favorite poem and song for your enjoyment.

Choose Something Like a Star

by Robert Frost - 1947

O Star (the fairest one in sight),
We grant your loftiness the right
To some obscurity of cloud --
It will not do to say of night,
Since dark is what brings out your light.
Some mystery becomes the proud.
But to be wholly taciturn
In your reserve is not allowed.

Say something to us we can learn
By heart and when alone repeat.
Say something! And it says "I burn."
But say with what degree of heat.
Talk Fahrenheit, talk Centigrade.
Use language we can comprehend.
Tell us what elements you blend.

It gives us strangely little aid,
But does tell something in the end.
And steadfast as Keats' Eremite,
Not even stooping from its sphere,
It asks a little of us here.
It asks of us a certain height,
So when at times the mob is swayed
To carry praise or blame too far,
We may choose something like a star
To stay our minds on and be staid.

Bold and True

2010-04-02T08:43:00.001-04:00

There's so much that could be said in this space today.

However, I am inclined to send you over here for beautiful, strong words of wisdom.

Wishing you peace and power, tears and truth on this Good Friday.

"Power and vulnerability are both within you and within the other. Therefore, skilled and peaceful warriors are able to be both powerful and vulnerable, though they have no desire to make others vulnerable. Power can be discerned but not manufactured and is a matter of self-awareness, while vulnerability is a matter of acceptance."

~ from The Art of Peace

Every Week is Holy Week

2010-03-30T09:43:00.002-04:00

U2 ~ 360 Tour ~ Soldier Field ~ Chicago ~ September 2009

Many things are kicking my (emotional and physical) butt right now.

And for some reason, I'm back in the church of U2 these past few days.

I *cannot* get the following song out of my head.

ONE

Is it getting better?
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame
You say

One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night

One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it

Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without

Well it's
Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light

We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One

Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus?
To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much?
More than a lot.
You gave me nothing,
Now it's all I got

We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again

You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law

You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other

One

One

What music is speaking to you in the midst of where you are?

How can we best carry each other right now?

Keeping Secrets

2010-03-25T09:43:00.004-04:00

How I spend a lot of my time these days.....cuddling :)

During my recent sabbatical, I found myself experiencing what I have come to call "falling further down the Rabbit Hole". I set out to embrace sadhana ~ with plans for the books I would read, the yoga I would do, the practices I would follow ~ and found a completely different set of priorities and interests arising during that time.

The books I thought would 'speak to me' didn't do so for very long. The things that caught my attention were rather unexpected. The issues that welled up from within me demanded my energy and contemplation in ways I could not have predicted.

Thus, the merits of a pilgrimage.

Without realizing it, I fell further down the hold of authentic living and discovered new parts of myself at the bottom. (If you would have asked me beforehand, I would have told you I had 'fallen' as far as there was to go over the past couple of years!)

The parts of myself being revealed, the passions manifesting within me (from a *very* contented, intentional, mindful place) are new and intriguing. I marvel at them like freshly unearthed jewels.

And, interestingly enough, I am uncertain about the idea of blogging this process and its fruits. Since my time in sabbatical, the computer just does not hold the same 'pull' for me. It now feels like an obligation; something I 'should' be doing. I am sitting with this feeling and letting it simmer before making any concrete decisions.

So, yes, dear reader, I am keeping secrets from you. The profound shifts that are occurring and treasures being mined ~ are, at least for now, fodder for my own consideration.

"But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart."
~Luke 2:19

That is where I am.

Pondering all of this in my heart.

And embracing the new realizations of my soul.

It is a divine and happy place to be.

A Few Words for Those on Capitol Hill

2010-03-22T10:43:00.004-04:00

From the lovely and inspirational Julia Butterfly Hill...

Weaving the Threads of a Gypsy Life

2010-03-18T09:43:00.004-04:00

My paternal grandfather with (L to R) my aunt, my dad, my uncle

Today would have been my father's 83rd birthday. It is hard for me to imagine.

Lately, I have been intrigued with wondering what he would have been like had he not succumbed to cancer 20 years ago.

I miss him.

Each year of remembering is different.

And this one is no exception.

It is tinged with sadness, confusion, and anger.

And also a bit of ironic humor.

A 1928 photo in front of my great grandmother's house in Cincinnati ~
My dad is the baby on the left :-)

Just this past week, I realized a connection.

You see, my father was a teacher (high school history) and a coach (track, basketball, football).

And....what am I doing right now????

I am a teacher (in an after school program) and a coach (holistic life and wellness)!!!!

Visiting that same house in 2008.
(L to R) My mom, sister, aunt (dad's sister), and me

I am grateful for good memories of a well-respected, fun-loving, intelligent, creative father who loved me dearly.

With all its foibles and shortcomings, I am grateful for my family.

And for the chance to see the threads that have been woven through us over the years.

And now to be choosing my own design in that tapestry.

* * *

Here is a song my father used to sing (in his strong baritone voice)
as I accompanied him on piano.

I Must Go Down to the Sea Again

I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face and a grey dawn breaking.

I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.

~ John Masefield (1878 ~ 1967)

Embracing Sadhana

2010-02-13T06:43:00.003-05:00

"There is great power in making a journey with a deep purpose..."

~Phil Cousineau
in The Art of Pilgrimage

I am on Sabbatical
February 13 ~ March 20, 2010
Aquarian New Moon ~ Vernal Equinox

* * *
Between the Doing and the Talking,
Amidst the Yes, the No, and the Not Yet...
In Silence,
I embrace the Seeking and the Being.
* * *

I am heeding the call to unplug.

The Universe is not letting up in its tap-tap-tapping
on the door of my spirit to do so.

And affirmations are around every corner:

* * *

"Often we experience knowledge from a deep place that carries no apparent reasoning.
We honor this as intuition.
It is a sense of knowing that may have no other explanation or experience to reinforce it.
It stands in its own power."

"The greatest wisdom is the insights experienced in our own hearts.
This is the wisdom we cannot deny.
The more we trust and honor it, the more it guides us."

~Nischala Joy Devi
in The Secret Power of Yoga

* * *

"Your life has become too focused on external demands and responsibilities.
Meditation would be good for you right now.
In order to gain a higher perspective on your soul's journey in this life,
you need time to allow your mind to relax and be in touch
with dimensions of reality beyond the secular.
The awareness of yourself as an evolving soul having a human experience
will lead you to insights about yourself and your life work...."

~Carol Sue Flowers
from my deck of Star-Glyph Healing Oracle Cards

* * *

My life is not this steeply sloping hour,
in which you see me hurrying.
Much stands behind me; I stand before it like a tree;
I am only one of many mouths,
and at that, the one that will be still the soonest.

I am the rest between two notes,
which are somehow always in discord,
for Death's note wants to climb over ~
but in the dark interval, reconciled,
they stay there trembling.

And the song goes on,
beautiful.

~Rainer Maria Rilke

Sharing Hope

2010-02-10T16:43:00.001-05:00

On the occasion of learning that my mom's husband's oldest son has been diagnosed with kidney cancer that has spread to his bones...

...I am compelled to refer you to the amazing, inspirational healing story that is happening over here, where this lovely woman is rocking the world!!!

Rearranging the Deck Chairs

2010-02-09T19:43:00.001-05:00

From 1996 to 1998 I worked as the Counter Manager for Clarins cosmetics in a large department store here in Dayton. I helped open the store and worked there for its entire life cycle of 18 months.

Eventually, the company was sold and the store closed completely. Those last few months of existence were a slow death. We had become a family and were being split apart.

At one point, there was a drawing of the Titanic on a cardboard box that someone has posted back in the shipment receiving area. It was appropriate for how we felt.

And I recall similar sentiments from my previous retail employer ~ another large department store ~ who filed for bankruptcy in 1995. (I left shortly thereafter.) My last few months there were a frantic, harrowing experience.

There, too, a co-worker used to muse, "The titanic is sinking and all we're doing is rearranging the deck chairs!"

She was right. It was crazy-making!

* * *

Fast forward to yesterday.

All day long I sensed a call. A beckoning.

Go deeper.

Get quiet.

Unplug.

Listen.

I was hearing a plea from my spirit that would no go away. Indeed it was quite strong.

I could not ignore it ~ and chose to pay acute attention.

And I realized that similar feeling again. The Titanic one.

"The ship is sinking and you are spending time arranging the deck chairs."

My translation:

I need a course correction.

I need to rein in my scattered energies. (1 website, 4 blogs, 7 email accounts, and a newly acquired F*acebook addiction)

I am in need of life-saving measures.

My spiritual life, that is.

Go deeper.

Practice.

Stop reading and do it.

Live it.

Be it.

Listen.

Pay attention.

The world needs you.

* * *

Saturday night I attended Kirtan with my yoga teacher. It was a marvelous time of chanting and celebration. I sang Hare Krishna more times that night than ever before in my life. I danced. I swayed. I saw colors emanating from my third eye. I smiled. I breathed. I relaxed. I remembered.

Yes, yoga is my path ~ and kirtan has a wonderful effect on me.

So...I am heeding that call.

I will chant.
I will do yoga.
I will meditate.
I will study. (This is where I found myself tonight.)
I will light candles.
I will burn incense.

I will go deeper.

In fact, I already am.

Marcy and Christine's Lovely View

The View from Here

2010-02-08T11:43:00.000-05:00

Open the Window of Your Heart

2010-02-07T13:43:00.000-05:00

Do not worry if our harp breaks
thousands more will appear.
We have fallen in the arms of love where all is music.
If all the harps in the world were burned down,
still inside the heart
there will be hidden music playing.
Do not worry if all the candles in the world flicker and die
we have the spark that starts the fire.
The songs we sing
are like foam on the surface of the sea of being
while the precious gems lie deep beneath.
But the tenderness in our songs
is a reflection of what is hidden in the depths.
Stop the flow of your words,
open the window of your heart and
let the spirit speak.

-- Translation by Azima Melita Kolin
and Maryam Mafi
"Rumi: Hidden Music"
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd, 2001

Jah! Rastafari!

2010-02-06T08:43:00.001-05:00

Robert Nesta Marley

February 6, 1945 ~ May 11, 1981

Happy Birthday, Bob!!!

You Can Ask for What You Need

2010-02-05T09:43:00.003-05:00

Today is the one-year mark of when I received the shocking~desperate~frantic phone call from my friend, Shawn. Without sharing details, he fervently pleaded for me to pray for him. "Just pray." was all he could say.

Hours later he would be arrested and jailed.

Months later he would be tried and sentenced to 20 years in prison without parole.

It is still unbelievable to me. My heart continues to break for him.

* * *

In this life of authentic living ~ and middle-aged womanhood ~ I am learning to recognize my needs, and give myself permission to meet them. This is not always easy.

Today I want to encourage you to discover your own needs ~ and do what you can to nourish yourself to fulfill them.

The best thing we can do for each other is to take good care of ourselves ~ and then take care of each other.

Indeed, there are a few among us who may need an extra dose of TLC today.

Perhaps take a moment and send some love over here and here.

Or join the kindred fumblers tribe forming over here.

And then go here and light a candle for yourself and/or others.

* * *

Recently a good friend of mine invited several people to attend an important event she had coordinated. Only one person came. Others said they would come and then found excuses at the last minute. She was devastated and sorely disappointed, sad and dejected.

Let us not forget that, in the process of getting our own needs met ~ we MUST continue to seek out and nurture the needs of our kindred spirits as well. We've got to have each others' backs and hold the space of healing and light when our friends are in need. Sometimes we can see it before they can.

This week I was blessed with that very kind of presence and support ~ via email and telephone ~ from some very special fellow travelers. And I can tell you with all certainty, *it*made*all*the*difference*.

So, I ask you....what do you need today?

I am here for you.

Enter the circle and share your heart.

It is a safe and welcoming place where you are not alone.

Late Night Photo Shoot

2010-02-03T11:43:00.002-05:00

I have spent the past two days wrestling with some BIG emotional demons.
They came out of nowhere!

I let my guard down after the full moon passed (silly me!) and, BAM!...up they came.

Tears
Agony
Questions
Longing
Shame
Anger
Torment
More Tears
Anguish
Restlessness
More Tears
Yearning
Confusion (with a capital C)
More Tears

and finally

surrender
purging
release
healing
renewal
victory!

I have often referred to what I have gone through these past few years as the excavation of my soul. Interestingly enough, I chose to watch back-to-back shows on PBS last night...both having to do with....what else?....but....excavations!!!

The Ghosts of Machu Picchu and The Lost Pyramids of Caral provided just the finishing touch I needed, apparently. At some point while watching, I noticed my breathing had deepened and I felt calm and peaceful.

The storm had passed.

As I made my way into the bathroom to brush my teeth, I flipped on the light. What I saw in the mirror seemed to reflect a new version of myself. I appeared different. Enough so that it made me laugh, take pause, go fetch the camera, and document the moment.

These photos serve to remind me that, after this latest battle in my war of soul retrieval and radical authenticity, I am still here....and smiling :-)

VICTORIOUS and GRATEFUL

Hey, Why Not Ask for More?

2010-02-02T09:11:00.002-05:00

Many thanks to the incredible Jena Strong for reminding me how much I love this song ~ and KD Lang's voice ~ and the poetic lyrics of Leonard Cohen.

Honoring Imbolc

2010-02-01T20:43:00.001-05:00

Blessed be the earth, and all who dwell upon it.

We give thanks for the season now departing from us,
For the blessings it has bestowed upon us,
And upon those with whom we share this world.

Blessed be the new season.
We pray that it will be a time filled with peace,
With abundance, with prosperity,
With wisdom,
With love.

Blessed be all who share this feast.
Let us now prepare for the time ahead
By opening our hearts, and our minds, and our spirits.

Blessed be.

Brighid image found here.

Imbolc invocation here.

Go here and here to learn more about Imbolc.

Hope for the Flowers

2010-01-31T14:43:00.001-05:00

My first encounter with this book was at Gail's house last May. I sat & read it in her beautiful living room, the only person up as the rest of the house remained quiet.

I wept and wept as I soaked in the story and saw myself in its pages.

It is a work of such simple beauty ~ and yet holds a powerful message.

This afternoon, I will put aside my disdain for an organized church service atmosphere and visit this congregation. My dear friend, Persephone will narrate and direct a small group of children as they perform a Hope for the Flowers play.

I'll be sure to pack tissues.

* * *

You can read a bit more about the story and its author here.

* * *

"Hope For the Flowers celebrates HOPE.
My wish for you is that your hope is
strengthened in these difficult times
and you find your special way
to bring peace to the whole world."

~Trina Paulus

You Know You're Getting Older When...

2010-01-29T12:43:00.002-05:00

...you pay your annual visit to the peek-a-boo doctor and...

...while you're there realize and discuss that you've been a patient of his for 21 years!
(He's been in practice 26 years.)

AND, he compliments you on your longer, grayer hair!!!

(The hair on top of my head, silly!)

Sheeeeesh!

Chameleon Kitty & Seeking Balance

2010-01-27T13:30:00.003-05:00

Recently, Tanner chose this new sleeping spot. We had to laugh :)

* * *

SO many blog post ideas are swirling through my brain, as usual. And I am trying to find balance between posting and giving energy to the other areas of my life that need attention these days.

I HAD to take a break from the computer yesterday ~ and may do so again soon (for a longer period of time). Signs of addiction are becoming obvious.

How else do I know I need a break?

~I get pissy
~People irritate me
~My muscles are tense
~I am short of breath
~I have weird dreams
~I don't feel so peaceful
~I have digestive flare-ups
~I dismiss my yoga & exercise
~My house is messy
~My monkey-mind is very active...
~Thus, living from my head and not my heart
~I get caught up in the opinions of others
~I start referencing FB in conversation
~
~
~

So, in the 15 minutes I have now before I leave for work...I'm gonna go stretch, breathe, and renew...

How 'bout you?

What do you need a break from today?

Laughter as Medicine

2010-01-24T09:43:00.000-05:00

I heard about this on NPR last night.

You can find more hilarious video clips at Everything is Terrible.

ENJOY :-D

A Big Dose of Inspiration

2010-01-23T11:43:00.001-05:00

Beauty for Ashes

2010-01-22T09:43:00.001-05:00

Today is Spanky's Feast Day. It's been a year since he traded in his fur suit for his Sparkle Suit and went to frolic at the Sparkle Pond.

I have three other friends who've lost two dear kitties this week. My heart is heavy for Christine and Marcy, as well as my local friend Teresa.

With such a litany of loss this past week, my emotions are all over the place. This morning, as I pondered such incredible, heart-wrenching grief ~ and the "peace that passes understanding" that thankfully comes in the midst of it ~ this song (an old favorite) came to mind.

Today, I dedicate it to the people of Haiti, and all those who are mourning the recent loss of their furry friends.

Do Not Underestimate What You Can Do

2010-01-20T00:43:00.004-05:00

Dayton Cityfolk Festival ~ Summer 2007

Yesterday, one of my 2nd grade students climbed into the van, set down her backpack and came over to the driver's seat to give me a big hug. (She's never done this before.)

It was wonderful!

A completely unsolicited hug from a child is bliss at its finest.

I said, "Allison, thank you SO MUCH. What was that for?"

She replied, "Oh, I just noticed that you don't get many hugs and I wanted to give you one."

* * * * * * * * *

At the moment I am feeling quite immobilized by the situation in Haiti. And the reality that we slaughter a million sentient beings for food every hour in this country.

I am also emotionally spent as I remember a year ago today taking my cat to Columbus for surgery, getting a diagnosis of cancer, him suffering a stroke and seizures, and eventually being put to sleep on Thursday morning.

Yesterday I was fine.

Today I am not.

I am short of breath and anxious.

I feel weak and worried.

I'm having a hard time making sense of it all or knowing where to put it.

Tears are close to the surface.

* * * * * * * * * *

The above was written about two hours ago. Since then I've showered and gone to meet a friend for a chat in a coffee shop. I also went to my local health store and bought some of my favorite gluten-free staple foods.

Now I'm making hot tea. I will drink it in one of my favorite mugs.
With sugar.

I will nourish myself with a yummy lunch before heading off to work.

I feel better.

My breathing is more relaxed.

The intense angst of this morning has passed.

I'm giving hugs (to myself and others) and continuing on with my day ~ stopping to tell those around me that I love them.

I am practicing immense gratitude for my health and safety as I send prayers to those in need.

"Do not let what you cannot do
interfere with what you can do."
~John Wooden

"Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can."
~John Wesley

Will you join me?

Tell me how your days are different in light of recent events.
How are you holding up?
Where are you finding the Light?
What does your heart need to express?

Yes We Did!

2010-01-19T10:43:00.000-05:00

By far, the best collective moment of 2009!

I still get excited and teary when I think of
the magnitude of what we accomplished.

Good-bye and good riddance!!!

***HOPE***

I don't usually take pictures of stuff on my television,
it seems kind of funny now that I see this,
but it was definitely worth capturing!

* * * * * * * * *

Please share your memories and/or feelings in the comments.

Just Some of What I Was Up to Today

2010-01-18T20:00:00.001-05:00

I've been blogging here, here, and here.

Whew!

The End of Innocence

2010-01-17T15:43:00.004-05:00

Grief is visiting our house today as we commence the week of the first year anniversary of our dear cat, Spanky's passing.

It has come like an old friend (though not a welcome one) and settled into my cells, taking up residence in my heart, and sitting with me softly on the worn spot on the couch.

It is a familiar ache.

Not a demanding one, just an undeniable presence that lingers.

The tears fall slowly as I let it soak into my being.

At times I am immobilized by its weight.

And my days of pushing it away are over.

No need to repress or deny.

Just acquiesce and let it come, for it serves its own purpose.

A year ago today we were still innocent.

Jaded by so many tragedies up until that point, we were as yet untouched by the shock and grief that comes with the sudden illness and loss of a companion animal.

So, in a sense, today is the one-year anniversary of my last day of innocence.

A mother who had yet to lose her child; a child-pet who was a household presence and emotional source and recipient of so much for almost 17 years.

The waves of sadness wash over me. They ebb and flow like the tide, heavy and crashing at times ~ and then receding to a softer rhythm, gently lapping at the shore of my spirit.

I allow them to come and go ~ and come again.

There is no other remedy that will heal this wound so freshly reopened.

Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break,that its
heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder
at the daily miracles of your life, your pain
would not seem less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your
heart, even as you have always accepted
the seasons that pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity
through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.

It is the bitter potion by which the
physician within you heals your sick self.

Therefore trust the physician, and drink
his remedy in silence and tranquility:

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided
by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips,
has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter
has moistened with His own sacred tears.

- Kahlil Gibran

Embracing Power

2010-01-15T07:43:00.003-05:00

Winter Sunset ~ January 2010

I have so many ideas and directions flowing through my head and heart these days that I really have no sense of what to write in this space.

I am in awe and moved by such a myriad of things, people, places, realizations lately that it's hard to put all of it into words.

Today, as we experience the New Moon ~ Mercury returning to its Direct position ~ and *the*longest*solar*eclipse*of*the*millennium*~ I am struck by the word power.

The power we each have within us.
The power ~ as yet untapped ~ that we haven't even begun to realize.
The power of the Natural world.
The power of Moon phases and planetary shifts.
The power of a simple act of kindness.
The power to co-create our own life & destiny.
The power to connect with like-minded souls.
The power to Trust the Process as we center ourselves in the Flow.
The power of love to overcome fear.
The power of good selfishness and saving our own lives.
The power of making healthy choices.
The power of saying "no".
The power of saying "yes".
The power of healing that can come through an animal.
The power of doing what you know is right even though it's difficult.
The power of speaking your Truth.
The power of shining your Light.
The power of witnessing others do the same.
The power of beauty.
The power of violence.
The power of hate.
The power of disease.
The power of tragedy.
The power of loss.
The power of war.
The power of love, mercy, faith, hope, peace, and compassion to overcome.
The power of our heroes and heroines.
The power of the stories we tell.
The power of secrets.
The power of lies.
The power of dysfunction.
The power of healing to rise above our hindrances.
The power of friendship.
The power of words.
The power of art, music, dance, drama.
The power of change.
The power of revolution.
The power of heat, fire, passion.
The power of mystery and intrigue.
The power of magic.
The power of epiphanies and "ah-ha" moments.
The power of manifesting our dreams.
The power of be-ing ourSelves.

Yes, power.

On this magically significant day of days, I say...

BRING IT ON!!!

* * *

What do you say?

Embracing Winter

2010-01-13T20:43:00.004-05:00

Across the street we go!

Doug says, "Who's idea was this?"

Whew! We made it all the way across and up the hill!

Picnics in this shelter will have to wait 'til Spring.

Doug marvels at the tall trees.

The happy, snowy couple :-)

A beautiful frozen waterfall...

...And pond

Some lonely chairs.

Meanwhile at home, Tanner keeps a watchful eye on the weather.

* * * * * * * * *

We are *truly* blessed to have such a wonderful park in our neighborhood! You'd never know we're less than two miles from downtown Dayton.
It is indeed fascinating to behold the changing of the seasons in this remarkable area around where we live.

From this site:

The 63-acre Hills & Dales MetroPark is filled with picturesque creeks, rolling hills, dense woods (including an outstanding example of Ohio natural forest), wild flowers, and wetlands, all conveniently located just south of downtown Dayton. Originally a gift from John Patterson (co-founder of the National Cash Register Company), Hills & Dales Park was designed by the Olmsted Brothers landscape architecture firm, famous for enhancing the natural beauty of a site with their designs.

* * * * * * * * *

Thanks for stopping by :-)

I hope you are able to {{embrace}} some beauty in this winter season.

Whispered Beckoning

2010-01-10T16:43:00.002-05:00

what is this
call of my soul?
where does it come from?
why is it here?
how am i supposed to respond?

the call is so strong
it never goes away

sometimes it lets up a little
and my lift gets back to normal
then it returns, full force
and i am held fiercely in its grip
once again

what is it,
this liminal place between worlds
where i now spend my waking hours?
neither here nor there
detached
residing elsewhere
feeling far away

yet sitting in the present
life happening all around me

it is calling
pulling me
away
and i am so
confused
by my desire
to give in and
follow its whispered beckoning

for to do so would
seemingly require me
to risk everything
how can i do that?

but the call won't
go away
it is knocking at the door
it thumps softly in the
background of my days
like the
telltale heart
of my existence

i get lost in the listening
spend much
of the passing time in
daydreams and desires

what is this,
this call of my soul?

who warns us of
such longings?
and affliction of life?

what prepares us to dwell
in this land between worlds?
equips us with the tools
needed to cross over
the threshold?

someone, please help me
my feet are frozen at the door

i go so far
toward the song of my soul
and then i
retreat

won't you please come
and push me
through?

~journal entry, 15 nov 09

Resurrection Day

2010-01-08T18:43:00.000-05:00

Andy Warhol ~ Dollar Sign ~1981

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